Grace

a friend

asked me

to describe

what it is

this thing

that exists

between us

between you

and me

this pocket sized piece of fantastic elastic that stretches between us that vibrates every time I hear your voice that thrums when you whisper wishes and wants that trembles when I conjure up an image of you in my head and resonates each time you say my name with polyphonic diatonic grace

but I failed

to find

the words

 

 

 

 


~ Putting my bait on the hook for One Shot Poetry Wednesday.  When you’ve dipped your toes in the rockpool cast your net a little further and catch some of the other One Shot Poets

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15 Comments

Filed under Free Verse

15 responses to “Grace

  1. I think this poem is fantastic. A diamond among pearls. I think the structure sucks me in. Dunno. M.

  2. Thank you mystery man M

  3. Love the initial sense of hesitancy, the brief outpouring and then back to the almost shy final affirmation! Structure shapes the atmosphere beautifully!

  4. oh i think you pretty well nailed it…cant help but smile at your close..great one shot.

  5. tommy 2wolvz

    wow i love this !! pretty slick wrap up to 🙂

  6. Lots of irony as you break from your wordlessness into a deluge of words and emotions Carys. I use that fantastic elastic line myself in spoken form, and the polyphonic diatonic touch was a touch of originality. Excellent lady..you rocked it again!

  7. Nice tongue in cheek description of the indescribable.

  8. dustus

    Very cool and unexpected turn your poem takes on the fantastic elastic part. The 3 lines that follow it made me chuckle. Great balance of minimalist lines with the stream of consciousness part.

  9. Thanks for all the great feedback guys and gals. Really enjoying the One Shot Wednesdays.

  10. Wow, love the middle rush of hindsight-afforded emotion-vomit that you (realise later) you feel inside- it sits perfectly between the two reserved, stumbles of what you, at the time, were willing to, or indeed able to articulate into, giving away. Fantastic poem as ever Julie.

  11. Thank you Arron, yes sometimes it’s difficult to say out loud how we feel about a person for various reasons.

    This was my second shot at writing prose/poetry and I thought it would be interesting to try and encase it in more formal lines of poetry to represent the difficulties that we sometimes have putting our emotions into words. If I’m feeling brave enough I might post the other one for One Shot Wednesday next week..it’s a little more um risque haha

  12. The questioner new the right point of entry..

  13. You define the undefinable with beauty and skill. I love the layout of the poem as well, like the thoughts that you can’t describe pour into one stream. Fabulous.

    Beth

  14. Thanks Beth, this actually happened. I was walking across the beach with a friend when she asked me this question. At first I was lost for words and then it all came out in a kind of stream of consciousness and when I finished speaking she said ‘Right, well you’re screwed then aren’t you!’ Women don’t miss much. This one will always hold something precious for me, especially now that it’s one of the first pieces I’m going to to have published.

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