Satellite


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

‘Satellite’s gone up to the skies, things like that drive me out of my mind’ – ‘Satellite of Love’ ~ Lou Reed
 
 

She follows him home; fishbone-white, shedding the light of her acne-scarred face, as he runs through the grass, the trees and the fields, fear at his heels, a malignant sprite.
 

Camouflage clouds aid her quest, unquestionable zest in her obsessive flight. Thorns tear at his clothes, brambles at face, no matter the pace and refusal to rest, there seems no escape from this hellion possessed.
 

Though crepuscular abalone clings to his core, his door in sight – he’s outrun the whore. Gasping for breath, lifts himself from the floor, runs to the window, his god he implores,
 

but she’s followed him home; fishbone-white, shedding the light of her acne-scarred face. Where peace once dwelled and life was hope-laced, paranoia lays waste and defeat takes its place.

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20 Comments

Filed under Prose/Poetry

20 responses to “Satellite

  1. wow… this is very creepy…great emotions captured.. nice work

  2. I love the feeling you have created with this description
    “fish-bone white, shedding the light of her acne’
    scarred face’
    to be paranoid, to look at the moon as something to be feared. I would run too. Amazing and well-written piece, as always.

  3. The repetition heightens the fear, well done.

  4. Beautifully crafted poem. You’ve created an eerie feeling of dread, using some great imagery. Agree the repetition is very effective. And love the word crepuscular.

  5. wow…yeah i kinda got goose fless there, just seeing her….fabulous imagery and tight little tale…

  6. emma

    Finally found my way to your blog…I must wander around and discover all of the treasures within. Great story- so evocative, kinda gets the blood pumping. Love the repetition and word choices. I just love your work.

  7. Gay

    That’s a scary full moon that is. They say all life events happen at the full moon, and it’s why the crazed are called lunatics. More births, more car wrecks, more deaths on the full moon than any other time. I love your use of fish-bone white. The image is witchy. Great to see you here. Thanks, Gay

  8. I can smell crepuscular…. a kind of fishy tang… love the haunting glow of this one, Julie…

  9. hedgewitch

    Wild and haunted piece–bonus points for crepuscular, always, and for making my flesh crawl with your images, and the kind of pace that leaves a stitch in your side.

  10. ok, I think this will give me nightmares tonight. a terrific, horrific tale.

  11. Kind of an eerie tone… maybe even creepy. Nicely done.

  12. Not a nice place to be- greatly done!

  13. signed .............bkm

    I like the mythlike quality of this write….paranoia’s need to win – it is hard to outrun her….bkm

  14. Thanks all. I remember the feeling as a child, walking down country lanes and thinking that the moon was following me. So often the moon is used in a romantic setting in poetry, I thought it would be interesting to turn that idea on its head .

  15. You caught my attention with the Lou Reed quote. I love the long musical lines, the use of rhyme and novel word choices like “crepuscular abalone”. I enjoy the uniqueness of this poem.

  16. Thanks Mark, I don’t think we’ve met so hi. I’ve written a few prose/poetry pieces over the last year, I think the form works well for certain themes, particularly when you’re trying to incorporate pace into a piece. This was my entry for the Creative Challenge on the Facial Expression Poetry Circle group I admin on. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the visit.

  17. The longer line lengths give this piece a story-like feel, yet the language is poetic. Even though the lines were relatively long, you established a pace that enhanced the feeling of escape, of the chase. Nicely done, Carys.

  18. Thanks Joe and hello, don’t think we’ve met before either. d’Verse is already proving to be a great venue for meeting new poets.

  19. I loved every word of this – wow

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